Alway a Few Steps Ahead
by Lil-Sun-Rie
Summary: I’ve always believed myself to be a few steps ahead of everyone else, but he surprised me because, right before my eyes, Kyokun became a man. [Spoiler warning KaguraKyo implied YukiTohru edited ending]


Author's note: I have no idea how this idea came to mind, but it did and I just HAD to write this fic… even though I need to update all my other fics. -.-' Akito will be a boy in this fic… only because I want to go on believing he's a guy. This story is a result of my imagination. I've only seen the anime and read a few of the mangas, so this isn't what happens in the manga.

Summary: I've always believed myself to be a few steps ahead of everyone else, but he surprised me because, right before my eyes, Kyo-kun became a man.

Disclaimer: I don't own the anime…

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**Always a Few Steps Ahead: One-shot **

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_Like any old fairytale, my life began as lonely as it possibly could because of the curse. My childhood was spent tiptoeing around the boys at school and the ones outside the main house. My precious childhood was spent alone in my room watching as much television as possible. The television opened a new world to me, even as naïve and ignorant I was at five years old, I was wise in the sense that I knew that there were greater things beyond the four walls that held me in. Again, like a fairytale, I would have my "evil stepmother," Akito Sohma. Even though he was about three years younger than me, he still commanded me. He owned me, as well as the rest of my family. _

_So, all my life I was trapped within the confines of the Sohma estate wishing desperately for a way out. I felt like a helpless kitten trapped behind the glass wall, watching everyone else in the world. Unlike other children my age, I was perceptive, I was intelligent, and, most importantly, I was myself. Due to lack of peer pressure, I never had to put up a mask just to "fit in." Because of the absence of any friends of any kind, I was intelligent, spending a lot of my free time studying. And finally, I was perceptive because I simply was. It just might have been a natural gift I was born with. _

_When I turned eight years old, I found freedom, I found salvation, both of which resided within the four walls I detested so much. The small, helpless, and friendless red head that lived next door was my key to freedom. He became my best and only friend. The small, frail boy who couldn't raise his voice to anyone looked up at me and smiled. _

_"Onee-chan…"His weak voice would waver, but the hand he held out to me didn't. He accepted me, as a child with no insight whatsoever. He had no wisdom, he was everything I wasn't. He _was_ ignorant, he _was_ naïve; he was everything that made me want to protect him. His bright eyes would sparkle as he laughed at some nonsense that spouted from my mouth, his face would pale when I accidentally hurt myself (again). He was probably the only company I'd ever need, but then we both grew. I became selfish with all the doting on from my parents and the love I received from Kyo. I wanted everything and that ended up being my downfall. _

_I was just a child. At first this was pathetic excuse for what I did, but that would simply contradict how I described myself earlier. I _was_ just a child, but I knew everything I did. I never considered the consequences until it was too late and I found myself fleeing from the little boy that would have been my ultimate happiness. After that, nothing was the same. Instead of reaching out for his "onee-can," he ran away from her. Instead of "needing" me, he scorned me. Our relationship took a steady fall as he drew farther and farther away from me. Soon my guilt settled in, the pit of my stomach churning within me every time I saw him look at me without any emotion at all. The splitting head ache I received every time I thought about it sent me into a fit of rage. Anger, _my_ anger that repelled him even farther (if possible), overtook my body as I finally realized what I had done and what I should do to amend this. _

_I should love him, I one day resolved as I boarded the school bus. Taking a seat in the back where no one else sits, I continued thinking. If I love him, I won't feel so guilty. If I love him, I won't feel so dirty. The naivety that was absent during my childhood arose in my teen years. How could my loving him _help_ him if it was only for me to feel better about myself? How was I helping him? Those questions never appeared till I had lost him completely_.

* * *

The author suddenly snapped back as she desperately tried to snatch her papers from the desk. Her pen had just exploded and ink splattered everywhere, luckily avoiding her papers. Her head bowed, her hair plastered against her forehead, her occasional sniffle, everything about her screamed depression. The author cleaned her desk and pulled a new pen from a small cup on her desk and continued her writing as if nothing had happened. Soon she was pulled into her writing and into her own world consisting of her own past.

* * *

_Then, he disappeared to study with Kazuma-san. He aspired to martial arts and dreamed of opening his own dojo so he could fight all day long and teach others to fight in the process. Those years were the hardest years for me. I wanted so much to put my plan in effect, but how could I when he was gone? He eventually returned, but not to the Sohma estate. Instead, he went to live with Shigure-san in an old traditional Japanese house. I didn't visit him immediately, I wanted to give him some time to rest from the long trip. _

_When I _did_ visit him, I met a girl at the house. It was the "famous" girl that everyone was talking about, the strange, the mysterious, and the generous Tohru Honda. I remember first thinking, "surely Kyo-kun wouldn't fall in _love_ with this girl." I remember thinking that this "Tohru Honda" could never be my rival. To assure this, I clung to Kyo, making it clear that he was mine. Tohru immediately took the hint and seemed to encourage our relationship. After this first encounter, Tohru immediately became a close friend of mine. She was everything a friend _should_ be: kind, generous, caring, loyal, and loving. _

_On that visit I learned that Yun-chan took residence at Shigure's home as well. When I saw the interactions between Tohru and Yuki, I was filled with an unexplainable happiness. Tohru would never give Kyo the wrong signs and Kyo would take the hint. He would come to me. That was what I initially thought, but everything backfired. _

_Tohru saw that Kyo was broken inside and being Tohru she wanted to help him as much as possible. Yuki, as wise as the young teen could be, saw the inevitable relationship between the two and let Tohru go. He was so benevolent that way. He forced himself to believe that she was "just a friend" and "a sister" to him. I know because he told me so. He confided to me because he knew I would understand. He told me because he just knew it would somehow protect Tohru from my wrath. The thing is, though, he didn't need to tell me to leave Tohru and Kyo alone because Kyo had done that himself. A few days before Yuki came to me with his "sob story," I went on a "date" with Kyo. _

_I knew something was wrong because he actually agreed to going with me. The whole date was simple enough, going to the park, eating out, etc. Kyo, however, through the whole trip had this sad look on his face. I dismissed this thinking that Yuki and Tohru had gotten together and he was still sad about it. How wrong was I? He had actually agreed to coming with me to "break up" with we even became an official couple. All through this, he was loving, caring, and kind. He was sympathetic even though he was breaking my heart; he broke me in a way that was so nice. No matter how confusing I sound at this moment, it's true. I felt so broken and so torn, but at the same time I felt redeemed because, even though I believed myself to always be a step ahead of everyone else, he surprised me. He surprised me because, before my very eyes, Kyo-kun, _my_ Kyo-kun became a man. _

_He stayed with me through all my tears and later walked me home. A few days later, Yuki came to me with his petition: "please, please don't hurt Honda-san. No matter what happens, promise me you won't hurt her." I was jealous beyond words, but I said nothing and let Yuki pour out his soul to me. I know no one has ever seen this side of Yuki, this most intimate and battered personality of his. I was actually surprised that he chose to reveal this to me. _

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The author paused as she looked down at her messy handwriting. She ruffled her hair in frustration as she slammed her fists on the wooden desk. The apartment she lived in was battered and poor because it was the only thing she could afford. Tokyo was a huge city and it was hard for her to find an affordable apartment when she entered the city. Now, the author lived in a desolated neighborhood with cooking as a side job. The author walked around her desk with her hand cupped beneath her chin before sitting back down. She once again grabbed her pen and continued to write. _

* * *

Yuki was the kind of person who always remained mysterious no matter how__ long you've known him, but in just one night I was able to learn absolutely everything there was to know about the "Prince Yuki Sohma." Yuki became the little brother I've never had. We became fast friends. We had each other to comfort when Kyo and Tohru finally announced their relationship. Everything was peaceful for all of us, but the dull pain was still there. Against my better judgment, I really _did_ fall in love with Kyo and losing him was the most traumatic experience I've ever had. _

_Soon days rolled into weeks, weeks rolled into months, and months rolled into years. The trio was just about to graduate high school when something terrible happened. Akito's health was slowly declining and his cruelty rose. His panic and fear of dying was evident in everything he did, starting from the way he talked to the way he would punish. Kyo was locked up, Yuki was imprisoned in a "special room," and Tohru was banned from ever seeing the Sohma's if she wanted to keep her memory. _

_This went on for a few days before another event took place. This one, however, no one knew about but me. I was wandering the halls at midnight when I heard strange noises coming from Akito's room. It was something like a hoarse cry, maybe even a broken whimper. The pathetic sound drew me to his room. The sound continued and added to it were crashes. He was evidently throwing another tantrum, but something was different about this one. Something was "off key." I crept closer to the door, slowly so as to not make a sound. The door was partially open so it was easy to sneak a peak inside. Akito was crawling on the floor, making the most miserable sounds I've ever heard, while cradling his head with his left hand. _

_The motherly side of me appeared. I just couldn't leave him there, no matter how miserable he made everyone else feel, no one ever thought about how miserable _he_ must have felt. The head of the family was destined to die at an early age, but that wasn't it. The curse couldn't be _that_ simple. The death was to be the most painful and agonizing death. Their organs would slowly collapse, one by one until breathing became a burden on its own. Then, they would bleed from the inside. Blood would sometimes emerge from their eyes like tears. _

_I quickly barged into his room and approached him. Before I was able to help, however, Akito swung around and screamed, "Don't come near me!" Through all the masks unmasked, Akito was the last one left. His cruel mask slowly slipped before me as he curled up into the fetal position, whimpering as if it would save his life. I never expected to find myself in this position. I've always thought that it would be Tohru or Hatori who would have to see Akito in this position, not me. I was nothing to him; I wasn't a threat or a doctor. _

_"Well, didn't you hear me! Leave me ALONE!" _

_His words were nothing to me and slowly I approached the younger boy. Maybe, just maybe, all he needed was a friend. Maybe he needed someone to confide in, someone to open up to. Since I had done such a good job at opening Yuki up, I decided to help Akito open up as well. _

_"I'm not going to leave you like this." _

_"Why the hell not!" _

_I honestly didn't know, but I wasn't about to admit that to him. _

_"I've destroyed all of your lives and yet you stand there telling me you won't leave me alone? You stand there looking down upon me as if I were some injured animal, what's wrong with you?" _

_All the courage I haven't used in the past took this chance to spring forwards. I was a coward in the past and that was going to change. _

_"Just because you were cruel doesn't mean you have to be alone like this, suffering _like_ this. No one deserves to suffer alone." _

_"And what can you do about it?" He replied to my "philosophy" with a sneer on his face. _

_"Nothing, absolutely nothing." _

_"Then go away." _

_"But, even though I can't do anything about it, I can always just be here." _

_He looked up at me with an intense glare, but I ignored it as I helped him onto the bed. That was when I saw it, something so unexpected and surprising that I almost cried. There on the bed wasn't a teenage boy, instead it was a child crying for what seemed to be the first time. In my eyes, he became broken and battered child, who strangely reminded me of Kyo. _

_"Don't worry, onee-chan is with you." _

_He seemed to soften up, but I guess he might have just fainted because he seemed to be in unbelievable pain. As I got up to leave, I took one last glance and saw red tears staining his white bed sheets._

* * *

Tears dripped down onto the paper, slightly smearing the ink as it slid down the paper. The author quickly dabbed it with the end of her shirt to assure that the writing wouldn't become illegible. Wiping the tears from her eyes, she wrote and wrote and wrote. _

* * *

Akito died two years after that night. He didn't die hated, though, because at the end he became someone totally opposite himself. Two days after "that" night, he release Kyo and Yuki and invited Tohru to the Sohma estate to be accepted as part of the family. His actions surprised everyone as he decided to bring in more people and let the Sohma's socialize a little. Soon everyone believed Akito had a change of heart, and soon everyone accredited Tohru with this miracle. After all, she was__ the only one expected to be able to pull this off. _

_"Ah, Tohru-kun, it must have been you." _

_"A-ano?" _

_"No one else could have pulled this off." Shigure grinned down at the little brunette with a mysterious look in his eyes. _

_"I-"_

_"Yes, Tohru-kun, it must have been your absence that made Akito think about what you said to him one day. Don't you remember what you said?" I interjected. _

_Shigure smiled brightly, "Yes, yes, you told him that _you_ would be sad if he died. Those words must have finally taken its affect." _

_Tohru stood there dazed, but quickly blushed and shrugged it off. Kyo was happiest to see Tohru again. He immediately ran to her and hugged her despite the curse. At their union, in a cloud of smoke, Kyo was transformed into a cat. _

_Everyone was happy that day, even Akito. It was the first time anyone's ever seen him sincerely smile the way he did that day. It was such a wonderful smile too; so full of happiness, of joy, and of the child that was hidden deep inside him. _

_That smile that everyone grew to love, however, disappeared into a hole dug in the ground and buried. All the Sohma's attended the funeral, even the ones that used to hate him. Everyone actually cried as his coffin was lowered into the grave. Rain started to pour that day and, in a moment of extreme sadness, I flung myself onto the closest person to me, my dad. His arms instinctively wrapped themselves around me and I stood there in his embrace, wiping my tears onto his rain soaked shirt. _

_No one noticed this strange event till it was later brought up at the reception. _

_"Kagura, were you hugging your dad outside?" _

_I nodded as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The curse had become such a part of me that I completely forgotten that I couldn't hug my dad because of it. Then after the question sunk in I gasped out loud. Was the curse really broken? _

_Yuki, the one who asked the question, silently walked up to Tohru and grabbed her around the waist. His eyes were closed as if expecting himself to transform, but he never did. Everyone looked on with wonder evident in their eyes. _

_"S-sohma-kun?" _

_"It's true. It's true, the curse is really broken!" _

_Along with sadness that day, happiness came. It was like Akito's final blessing to the family: freedom. Yuki swung Tohru around before depositing her into Kyo's arms. He then ran to me, "Nee-chan, the curse is really broken!" _

_I had finally gained my childhood wish, my freedom. The sweet freedom I had always longed for. I stood dazed in Yuki's arms as he smiled with a radiance I've never seen before. I did mention that Yuki was the type of person to always surprise and this _was_ surprising. After everything I've gone through, I've realized that maybe all I really wanted was to be a big sister to those who didn't have one. Still, today, I'm unsure if that was _all_ I wanted. _

_I then glanced at Kyo and Tohru in the corner. They just, they just held each other, nothing more and nothing less. The day passed and life became as normal as it could be. Everything took some getting used to. I was no longer known as Kagura Sohma, the boar of the zodiac. I was simply Kagura Sohma. Weeks passed and I decided to leave the Sohma estate and go to Tokyo. The day I left was the last time I've seen everyone. I haven't kept up with anyone. _

_Now, my whole family felt like strangers. We were simply strangers because there was no longer anything holding us together. _

_The End_

* * *

The author sighed as she put down her pen and restacked all the papers so that they were in order.

* * *

Two years later, a new contemporary book rose into popularity. It was sold by the hundreds, a new drama that included all other genres to keep all readers occupied. This well-known novel was _The Zodiac Curse_. This novel is what brought me to this apartment, this wretched apartment residing in the most desolate part of Tokyo. I held the novel in my hands and rigidly knocked on the door. 

"Who is it?"

That voice was so familiar and so strange at the same time. I chose not to answer, but I did continue to knock.

"Um… Who's knocking? Anyone there?"

The voice continued its strange spell on me, holding me rooted to the spot as lost memories arose in my mind.

"Why aren't you ans-"

The door swung open and the speaker immediately silenced when she saw me. I held the book up in front of my face so she didn't have a clue who I was.

"Is this the home of Kagura Sohma?"

"Hai."

I lowered the book and allowed Kagura to have a good look at me. "I- I can't believe it…"

"What can't you believe?"

"Kyo-kun?"

"Yeah."

"What are you doing here?"

I looked down at Kagura, she didn't change much. Her hair was a bit shorter, but it wasn't really that noticeable. Her complexion was paler and her eyes were wider, but other than that she still looked the same.

"Before we talk about anything, do you want to get something to eat?"

"Sure, let me get my coat." The door was closed and later reopened with Kagura in her coat.

At the restaurant, Kagura and I sat in the back. I still clutched her novel and that was what drew her eyes to my hands.

"Kyo-kun, why are you here?"

I held up the book.

"That's not really an answer."

"Okay, I'm here to tell you something I should've years ago."

There was a long pause.

"What did you want to tell me?"

Another long pause.

"Kagura, I love you."

"What!" I felt myself blush and quickly looked away. "What about Tohru?"

"She's with Yuki."

"So she dumped you and you ran to me?"

"I broke up with her, Kagura, what do you think of me?"

"I'm sorry, it's just that… nothing."

"No, what is it?" I encouraged.

"It's just that this seems so unreal, so unlike you. Why would you love me? You had Tohru."

"I realized that being with Tohru was going no where. She was just there, like a sister I needed to take care of. It just seemed off. Tohru even told me that she felt the same way. She told me that the reason she was with me in the first place was to 'heal' me. She just wanted so much to help me that she confused it with love. I also did the same."

"Then, what made you realize you love me?

"Shigure picked up your book at the stores because he wanted to 'learn about his literary rival.' He read the book and then recommended it to everyone else. They all read it and we realized that it was you, Kagura. Do you know how much everyone's missed you? This book opened a whole new world for me, a world in which I was just a regular person reading a regular novel. This book also let me learn a little more about you. Soon I wanted to know _all_ about you. I realized that, even though we grew up together, I barely knew you. I didn't know your favorite color, your favorite food, your favorite anything."

"And that brought you here?"

"Yes."

I shifted under her intense scrutiny, she really did have the look of an incisive writer. This confession turned out to be more of an interview, but I was okay with it. I should have known that Kagura would want to know the reason to my sudden change of heart. I know for sure that I wasn't acting as I normally would have. I was always the one waiting for someone to make the first move; Kagura was always straight forward and to the point.

"Now that you're done asking questions, can I ask one?"

Kagura nodded politely as she took a sip of her sake. "Why didn't you write, call, or anything?"

"Because… I wanted my independence."

"That doesn't mean severing yourself from the family." Kagura sighed as she realized that I saw past her statement, both of us knowing, full and well, that wasn't the real reason.

"I know, but something inside me told me to."

"What told you to run away?"

"The part of me that still loved you."

No words were needed to understand each other. We knew each other, inside and out; we basically loved each other our whole lives without really realizing it.

**

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THE END ****

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Okay, that was a stupid ending, but I couldn't think of what to write and I wanted to finish this one-shot as soon as possible… -.-' oh well, I hope y'all liked it. **

**Review Please. **


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